Holiday Wishes

Because it's overdue, and I'm supposed to be writing applications right now, I'm going to offer some Holiday Wishes for my favorite teams.

To the Lakers: Please get Andrew Bynum to play consistently this season and find out what the hell happened to Luke Walton. He used to be a a sixth-man-of-the-year-caliber player. Tonight's loss to the Warriors notwithstanding, the Lakers suddenly appear to have the depth and chemistry to make a serious playoff run this year. I certainly didn't see this coming and it's a long, long season (as the Lakers also learned last year) so my hope isn't ready to flare up too much.

To the Niners: Please forfeit all of your games. Okay, I'm overreacting. The season is already a wash and the previously unthinkable position of Mike Nolan's buns on the hot seat is very much a reality. Remember when Jeff Garcia was leading the Niners to the playoffs every year? Sure, everybody expected the 49ers to flare out at any time, but at least we SCORED SOME POINTS. I mean for ourselves. God, this team makes me sad.

To the UH Warriors: Please beat Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. Colt Brennan and the Warriors have performed as well as the Niners have sucked, which is to say "a lot." However, the only way the Warriors will earn any kind of respect is by winning -- or at least playing a close game against -- Georgia. If Hawaii wins, and it's no guarantee because this will be a tight game, then the BCS looks even more stupid. As if that were possible.

To Major League Baseball: Take the advice from the Mitchell Report. I'm personally tired of hearing about the steroid and drug scandals supposedly running rampant in the sport. I don't know for certain one way or another who is taking what, but nothing is going to get resolved without a little acceptance and understanding. I say Bud Selig should give everyone a free pass, work with the union to institute a reasonable testing and penalty system, and go from there.

To Michael Vick: Please learn your lesson.

To Kobe Bryant: Please heal your groin.

To Everyone else: Happy Holidays and don't get sick if you can help it. It sucks.

Watch Sports and Enjoy Thanksgiving!

Lots of football to watch. Is it just me, or is Brett Favre playing like a guy who sold his soul to the devil? I'm just saying.

Roger Clemens and more!

I put up another non-serious post about Roger Clemens here. Check it out and please comment if you can.

In other news, the Lakers beat the Rockets last night to avenge their loss in their first meeting of the season. The Lakers came out on top, but the Rockets deserve a lot of credit for playing so hard after Tracy McGrady went out with a bum right arm. What the heck has Bonzi Wells been doing the last few years? I remember when he was an emerging force (if not exactly a star) with the Grizzlies then he went underground like Harriet Tubman, only to re-emerge last night. I know he's battled weight issues and he seems like he needs the ball to be interested in the game, but hot shiznizzle does he attack the rim well. I expect those kinds of moves from T-Mac and Kobe, but Bonzi's performance was very good.

Unfortunately, the same could not be said of the Laker's bench. Luke Walton is halfway between role player and starter, but he has to do better than 2 points, 3 assists, and 1 rebound. Lamar Odom also plays unselfish basketball but his numbers were nearly as poor. I know Kobe dominates the ball, but that's no excuse for some of the awful passing I was seeing from Fisher and Walton, among others. The Lakers were fortunate to come away with that victory and despite their early season run, they've barely crawled their way above .500 with this victory.

Now for an overdue update on my favorite teams:

If you hadn't noticed by now, the Niners suck. I had written a post for BleacherBloggers.com about how the Niners could make a mid season run after their bye week. Thankfully, I never got to post it and saved myself from sounding like a total ass.

The UH Warriors are one of (two?) a few undefeated teams in the top 25. However, their play has been erratic and early Heisman hopeful QB Colt Brennan has somehow underperformed while playing at a 4,000 yard, 40 touchdown pace. They could still pull off the best season in the program's history, but I haven't felt the same magic as last year.

UCLA is losing.

Stanford beat USC several weeks back. That victory will have to hold me over for the next couple years or so.

And that's it. Oh yes, it turns out losing internet access for several weeks (and Ronnie Brown on 3 teams) can mess with your fantasy football success. I'm still in the running in most seasons, but the magic is dissipating.

Take care.

NBA Observations go up on Bleacher Bloggers

I wrote a condensed version of last night's NBA observations into a single post. It's now up on Bleacher Bloggers where you can read it and write comments brimming with adulation. But please don't mention I'm sending you because I look less cool when people know I beg for attention.

NBA Opening Night!

Somehow I didn't find out about tonight's NBA season opener until this evening. Read my scribbled random notes as I watch the games.

First up, the Portland Trailblazers versus the San Antonia Spurs.

[This game was boring so I'll sum it up in one paragraph. I blame the Spurs.]

The Trailblazers played the defending champion Spurs closer than the 106-97 score would indicate. But the Spurs played the exact brand of defensive, plodding, unselfish basketball that has won them two championships and bored countless fans. Portland's LaMarcus Aldridge looked outstanding and I have to wonder what his team could have accomplished this year if they had super-ugly man-boy Greg Oden.

Next up, the Houston Rockets travel to Los Angeles to play the Lakers. It's go time.

Four sloppy minutes later, Kobe lays in the first points of the game.

Luke Walton lays down a pretty assist. Luke will be one of the keys to the Laker's success this season. He's a natural playmaker that can score if needed. TNT commentator Doug Collins said the Lakers want Walton to be a double digit scorer. I think they'd be happier if he were a triple digit scorer.

Luis Scola just entered the game for Houston. His hair is ugly on a scale not seen since Nash sheared his limp mane.

Ronny Turiaf disrupts a Rockets pass, leading to a Kobe - Turiaf fast break connection. Great energy by the Lakers and they've jumped out to a 17-8 lead. The game is still sloppy, but at least the Lakers are on top.

Commercial: FrankTV is doomed to failure.

I've watched the Lakers run Tex Winter's offense for over seven years and I've read several of Phil Jackson's books and I still don't understand the Triangle Offense. I don't think Kwame Brown does either.

Kobe has 13 points, 2 assists, and 0 turnovers at the end of the first quarter. I'm getting the strong feeling that he wants to send a message. That message? "I'm good, please trade for me."

We're a few minutes into the second quarter and it's already 11:30pm. Watching sports on the East Coast seriously messes with my beauty sleep.

Dikembe Mutumbo is still playing? I thought his daughter made him retire.

The Rockets have tied the game at 29. Kobe is not in the game, and every Lakers possession since he sat down has ended in a forced shot and a fast break for the Rockets.

Stevie Francis is sitting on the bench and, according to the TNT commentators, apparently showed up for preseason duty out of shape and was outplayed by Mike James. I still have a soft spot for the Franchise since he was the very first player I ever drafted in my first fantasy basketball league. Obviously this was about six years ago. Now it looks like he's actually napping on a teammate's shoulder.

Kobe looks tired. I think skipping practice and not showing up for preseason games has left him a little unprepared for the pace of a regular season game.

Kwame Brown flubbed another dunk. I've heard that he has hands smaller than a carny's and despite never seeing a carny in real life, I believe the claim. His athleticism has always been superb, and his defense seems to be improved, but Kwame will never be the offensive machine MJ thought he'd be.

Kobe drove to the basket and turned the ball over again. He is definitely tired but trying to jump start the offense. This kind of one-man-showmanship will not help the Lakers win.

Commercial: The House of Payne is still on television? How?

Derek Fisher has brought the rainbow shot back to Lakerland. He's made five straight points, including L.A.'s first three pointer of the season.

Tracy McGrady hits his free throws despite two lazy eyes.

The half is over, both teams tied at 43. Sloppy first half but Kobe flashed a couple of baseline moves to show he's still got spunk left. He sure looked pretty sweaty for his halftime interview though.

Commercial: Stephen King's The Mist looks more silly than scary. Of course, I'd still scream like a girl if I were to ever actually watch it.

[Half time. Bathroom break. Good pee.]

Three minutes into the second half and neither offense is clicking, but now the Rockets are up 51-47.

Yao Ming went flying after a loose ball and came within three inches of frenching Kurt Rambis on the Lakers bench. Kurt looked willing but Yao changed his mind before man on man contact could be initiated.

Kobe has 21 points but he's taking way too many jump shots. The Rockets meanwhile are starting to roll and are now up 58-49. Yao Ming looks mildly autistic but the dude can still play ball. T-Mac isn't bad either.

Oh God. Somehow the Lakers scored against themselves. A high rebound slipped through Walton's hands and bounced high into the air, off the backboard and into the rim, nothing but net. How embarrassing.

The Lakers came out with a lot of energy but the Rockets clearly have the momentum as well as a 10 point lead.

Commercial: Movie preview for This Christmas. It looks an awful lot like Why did I get Married?

It's halfway through the third quarter and it's already 12:40pm. Time zones suck.

Kobe is missing a lot of free throws. He looks tired and the Lakers are playing just well enough to stay within range as the third quarter ends, the Rockets up 70-62. Walton has had a few good shots, Farmar showed some speed on a fast break dunk (I didn't know he could do that), but nobody else is picking up the offensive slack.

Hehe. Shane Battier just airballed a three pointer. Watching Duke alumni fail makes me warm inside.

Another jump shot by Kobe, another miss off the front of the rim. The man is tired and so am I.

Lakers center Chris Mihm just lost a shoe. I saw Chris Mihm's shoe before I realized Chris Mihm was in the game; what does that say about Mihm's effectiveness?

It's now 1am. The Lakers better win or I'm going to be pissed.

Kobe has now resorted to physically throwing himself at defenders in order to draw fouls. He isn't getting the calls and L.A. is down 77-65. It's slipping away for the purple and gold.

Surprise, surprise, Kobe has drawn another foul, only to go 1 of 2 at the charity stripe and 11-17 on the night. An awfully poor performance for a free throw shooter with a career average above 83%, and just one more indication that Kobe is not in game shape.

Now they're rubbing down Kobe's wrist and saying his sore wrist has been aggravated tonight. That kind of injury would definitely affect his shot.

Free throws and a timely jumper by Pescado have the Lakers within 6 points with 5 and a half minutes left. I'm now officially too tired to be funny.


The Rockets are now in the penalty and the Lakers are working the charity stripe. Bonzi Wells complains but his beauty mark cannot persuade the refs to his way of thinking.

Yao Ming just hit two clutch shots to put L.A. in a deep hole with less than two minutes left.

Commercial: I love the Reggie Bush commercial where he and his friend are walking down the street and the friend is begging Bush for some tickets to his football games. Reggie tells him to watch him on cable instead. What a diss. I love that one.

Three straight turnovers by the Rockets and the Lakers have closed to within four points with a little under a minute left. Unfortunately, Farmar just fouled Mike James to send him to the line. He misses both.

Kobe takes it to the hole and suddenly it's a two point game with 25 seconds left to play. What the hell just happened? The Rockets were smiling and slapping each other on the butt and now it's a tight, tight game. I like what I'm seeing.

Lakers steal the inbounds pass and Fisher sinks a two to tie the game. Damn!

Noooooo. Battier just sank a three with 2.5 seconds left. Damn!

Now Battier just fouled Kobe before he could attempt a three. Kobe gets two foul shouts but he'll have to make the first and intentionally miss the second so his teammates can score a deuce.

Kobe makes the first.

And now...

He misses the second shot, it bounces back and forth and back into his hands. Kobe goes up and bam! he gets nailed from behind. No call from the refs and the game's over.

The Lakers lost and now you've experienced it in more detail than you'd wish on your worst enemy. Good night.

The Most Improbable Play Ever

This isn't the most dramatic victory in collegiate sports, but it might be the most improbable single play, ever. I've seen it three times and I still don't believe it. Watch the video and decide for yourself.

My Post went Big Time

If you liked my Kobe Post, I put it up at BleacherBloggers.com. Go check out the link and leave a glowing comment so my supervisor will think I'm super cool.

Why are you doing this Kobe?

Kobe, you're the greatest basketball player of my generation and you're killing me.

I remember when you first announced your entry into the draft and I kept asking my dad, "Is he really that good?" You were skinny and bald but you showed flashes of greatness even in your rookie season. You didn't deserve to go to the All-Star game that year, but after attacking MJ with some pretty moves, you showed why you deserved to come back.

There were struggles, sure, but then Shaq and Phil arrived and a bright new day dawned for the Lakers. Watching you guys destroy team after team en route to three championships made me very happy and I'll always be grateful for those years. Even though you and Shaq could never get along, you both have special places in my heart. Those places aren't adjacent because no matter what you two say, I'm afraid what would happen if you were both locked in a chamber together, but you're both somewhere in there.

Then Shaq left and you stayed. You were always my favorite, so as long as you stayed with the team I was okay. And even though the Lakers struggled, it's still been a treat to watch you split double teams and dismantle entire defenses. I also think you're passing ability is severely underrated.

But now this.

Now you've asked to be traded and this time it looks like it might actually happen. Jerry Buss even said that he has to treat your demands as a business move, but we all know that's impossible. Jerry Buss loves you like a son. When you made mistakes the Lakers never hesitated to support you. Jerry Buss may look like Jerry Stiller but he's always been dead serious about protecting your back. And now you want to turn your back on him.

Is this another demand for respect? I can understand if it is. Your emotional development was permanently crippled as a youngster, always developing your prodigious abilities on the court to the detriment of your social skills off it. Your need to prove yourself has always pushed you to succeed and exceed expectations. If you weren't an emotional cripple I doubt you'd be the same dominant player. Leaving the team that's given you so much (and I'm not just talking about money) would certainly give you another challenge to meet.

But before you pack your bags, consider this, Kobe.

You have a wife and two children. You have three NBA championships. You're widely regarded as the best basketball player in the world today. You don't need to quit the Lakers to prove how good you can be. I already know.

Marion Jones comes clean, raises doubts

It’s a sad state of affairs when sports news has less to do with an athlete’s performance and more about which performance enhancing drug they took. Marion Jones pleaded guilty yesterday of lying to federal agents about taking THG and possibly even the “clear” prior to her celebrated achievements at the 2000 Olympics.

An article by ESPN’s Lester Munson says that IRS Agent Jeff Novitsky had compiled enough evidence that Marion Jones could no longer deny her guilt after vehemently defending her innocence for the better part of a decade. But if anything, the timing of Marion’s admission couldn’t be more calculated.

Just two weeks ago Floyd Landis was banned for two years from professional racing after testing repeatedly showed evidence of doping during his 2006 Tour de France victory. About one week ago boxer Sugar Shane Mosley also admitted to taking the “cream” and the “clear.” Landis continues to maintain his innocence while Mosley claims he was misled by his trainers into believing the steroids were allowable supplements.

Maybe I’m being a cynic, but allegations of innocence or unknowing usage seem like so much wasted breath.

I can’t help but see Marion’s confession as a calculated move designed to minimize fallout. Obviously she is the biggest name amongst recent offenders (football players like Travis Henry turning up positive for illegal substances are so common they’re barely worth mentioning anymore), and it’s clear that Marion is attempting to hide her disgrace amongst the tarnished careers of Mosley, Landis and other liars and cheaters.

The race is on for athletes to repent now while the repenting is good. If nobody else was in the news for cheating I genuinely believe that Jones would continue fighting incriminating evidence. But now that so many disgraced athletes have thrown themselves on the public’s mercy and begged for forgiveness I expect they will soon be getting even more company. Just don’t expect Barry Bonds to be one of them.

Sporting Bads

Across the sporting spectrum athletes and officials are forever making fools of themselves. Here are a few that have caught my eye recently.

Isiah Thomas – Ever since his playing career ended, Isiah has gone from failure (CBA) to embarrassment (sexual harassment case). If you want to see the man’s true face I suggest taking a good long look at Isiah’s famous smile. The sinister conceit and borderline homicidal rage oozing from that grin reminds me of another athlete with a reputed killer instinct.

O.J. Simpson – I grew up watching O.J. in court and at the time I was young enough to want him to be innocent. Now I want him to shut up and learn his lesson.

Sugar Shane Mosley – Mosley confessed to unknowingly taking the “clear” and possibly other banned substances before his controversial victory by decision over Oscar de la Hoya in 2003. I believe Mosley when he says that by coming clean he hopes to warn other athletes of the danger of carelessness, but his announcement feels like just another underwear smear on the good name of sports everywhere.

Kobe Bryant – He’s my favorite player on my favorite team but Kobe was an idiot to demand a trade earlier this postseason. Not only did he strain his relationship with his team and his fans but he handcuffed the Laker’s ability to bring him help. Kobe’s subsequent decision to shut up and rededicate himself to winning reveals why he is such a special athlete but gosh darn do I wish he realized this before opening his mouth.

Bill Belichick – The NFL coach most likely to be mistaken for a homeless bum (derelict indeed), Belichick’s awesome ego was on full display when he refused to discuss his illegal videotaping of opponents. NFL commish Roger Goodell’s fined the Pat’s coach for half a million dollars, but his suspicious handling of the evidence (he destroyed the tapes without revealing what was on them) looks bad, bad, bad. On second thought, both Belichick and Goodell deserve some scolding on this one.

The Niners struggle again

It's halfway through the 49er-Seahawks game as I write this. Quarterback Alex Smith is out, RB Gore has developed a severe case of fumblitis and I can't remember the last time guarded optimism has so quickly turned into salty tears of sadness. Nate Clements and the defense have looked dominant at times but I can't blame them for easing up when the offense has curled up in the fetal position.

Elsewhere around the league, old man Favre continues to get things done. I "discovered" Favre back in '95 when I played my first season of fantasy football. While on his way to an MVP season he carried my team, The Homicidal Monkeys, to a second place finish. No matter how decrepit Favre gets, he'll always have a place in my heart.

The Bears lost a close game when their onside kick was returned for a touchdown. Sucks to be the Bears.

Oakland erupted with a 35-17 victory over Miami. Culpepper threw for two touchdowns and ran for three more. All five guys who started him must be quite pleased with themselves. Miami may also suck (0-4 season record), but at least Ronnie Brown did well for the second straight week. Way to turn one team's misery into my personal gain, fantasy football.

And a quick mention of the UH Warriors, winners despite Brennan's 5 -- Five! -- interceptions. By virtue of not losing they're moving up the rankings (or down, or whatever) but they have yet to face a true quality opponent.

Speaking of quality, or more accurately a lack thereof, is the UH commentator Jim Leahy. Jim is without a doubt the worst commentator I have ever heard. It's worth listening to him just to hear how awful he is. Here are some of his gems from last night's game (slightly paraphrased because they make no sense).

"That play quintessentially was Colt Brennan."

"The runningback showed a burst of speed until the defense diagnosed him.

"The running back cut to the left and probed the secondary."

And these comments are from the first quarter alone, before my good taste prevented me from watching any more (it was a tape delayed replay). Leahy manages to combine the hyperbole and mannerisms of James Lipton (from Inside the actor's studio) with the grammatical sense of an illiterate monkey. The only way I think he's managed to stay on the air for so many years is by overwhelming Hawaii viewers with big words that he butchers without mercy.

How bad is Leahy at commentary? As bad as San Fran is playing football this afternoon. Yeah. Ouch.

Please share your football gripes with me. It'll make me smile to know that my misery has company.

Laker Trade Rumors: or Why my favorite team likes to play with my emotions

My dearly loved Lakers are in a position to make a big-time trade this off-season. Again.

This time the potential Laker-to-be is Sun’s forward Shawn Marion. Marion is a certified star with 20-10 skills and the ability to leap over small buildings.

After eight productive years in the desert, Marion apparently wants his fair share of the pie – very understandable since heralded teammates Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire are big enough stars to keep even Rosie O’Donnell from stuffing her face with apple cobbler. Marion and Kobe also have a friendly relationship and, more importantly, Los Angeles has a bigger pie than Phoenix.

The logical trade offer would be a straight up Lamar Odom for Marion deal. According to an ESPN report, their salaries are close enough and Odom has similar star ability.

Which raises the question, why would Marion succeed where Odom has failed?

To be fair, it’s not entirely Odom’s fault the Lakers haven’t won a championship during his three years with the team. No reliable big man, lackluster teamwork and shoddy defense are the responsibilities of the entire organization rather than just one player. But as good as Marion is, is he that much better than Odom?

Both players are versatile forwards who can score and rebound. Both players are in their prime (Odom will be 28 in November, Marion recently turned 29). Odom is the superior playmaker while Marion is less apt to disappear. And despite his ugly shot, Marion is the better three-point shooter and all around marksman. But put their stats side by side and it’s basically a wash.

Kobe Bryant and the Lakers made huge waves this summer with rumored involvement in trades featuring Kevin Garnett. That kind of trade would have made an immediate, noticeable improvement in the Laker’s championship aspirations. As good as Marion is, he is no Kevin Garnett and therefore his addition won’t help Kobe and Co. get any closer to hoisting the Larry O’Brien trophy at the end of the year.

Football Recap Week 3

Ahh, the pain of fantasy football. My four teams were on their way to a third undefeated week, when Drew Brees decided to make Keith Bullock an honorary member of the Saints’ receiving corps, never mind the fact that he already plays for the Titans. So four picks and a fumble later and I suffer the first loss of my fantasy season.

Another painful loss came from my beloved Forty-Niners who dropped one against the resurgent Pittsburgh Steelers. “Fast” Willie Parker (one of the worst nicknames ever) helped one of my fantasy teams to victory while simultaneously running the Niners into the ground. From what I've heard (I had to work during the game), the boys in red and gold were simply over-matched by a Goliath quarterback and an overwhelming defense. And what is the problem with Frank Gore? Obviously he’s not going to sneak up on anybody this year, but this kind of drop off is disconcerting. The Niners are going to have to open up their playbooks and take some of the pressure off Gore or their offense is never going to start rolling.

The lone bright spots in this week’s football recap (aside from my three other fantasy victories), were wins from UCLA and the UH Warriors. Despite prevailing over Washington, I’ve kind of written the UCLA season off since they’ve already proven to me that they’re not going to compete for anything big this year. It might even be better if they sink fast, get a new coach, and get moving in a new direction.

UH hasn’t let me down yet even though Heisman hopeful quarterback Colt Brennan sat out Saturday’s 66-10 win over Charleston Southern. Backup Tyler Graunke struggled early, but the Warrior’s special teams and defense held the Buccaneer’s to zero points in the second half to seal up the victory. Colt’s absence was a disappointment but it was reassuring to see the Warrior’s defense get things done. Next up, Idaho.

Getting back to Fantasy Football, I’d like to hear what everyone’s team names are. Team names are always a fun way to show some creativity and I think I picked some solid ones this year: The Spanish Inquisition, The Dog Whisperers, Bringin’ Sexy Back, Bringin’ Hairy Back.

What are your team names?

Football Recap Week 2

It’s almost the third week of the NFL season and I’m happier than I have any right to be. The Niners are 2-0, though some late game heroics were necessary to pull out a victory against St. Louis last week. I still remember the awful, awful problems we had against the Rams in the last several years so even a squeaky close victory smells like napalm to me. I’m not sure if Alex Smith is anywhere near turning the corner and becoming a productive starting quarterback in the league, but at least he’s not blowing games. And thank you, thank you Niners for improving your defense. I could kiss you Mike Nolan.

In other news, my four fantasy teams have done the semi-impossible by going undefeated. It’s still early, and technically I have one tie against my dad but please don’t pee on my parade. What’s my secret, you may ask? Automated drafts. I also didn’t alter a single draft ranking. Technically I couldn’t make any of my drafts so using automated lists wasn’t exactly my choice, but my computer has proven a better drafter than me. Yes, I realize how depressing this is.

Speaking of depressing, UCLA is done for the season and it’s now only a matter of time before coach Dorrell gets axed. UCLA’s earlier success simply masked a flawed system that has now been exposed. Don’t ask me what’s wrong but I know broke when I see it and UCLA done and went broke.

The UH Warriors are still putting up crazy numbers and I’m looking forward to seeing those numbers pile up before my eyes when they play Charleston Southern this Saturday. Yeah, I don’t know who they are either but that just means it’s going to be an entertaining display of offensive firepower. The real battles will be later in the season when they face Boise State and Washington. Hopefully the Warriors will still be in the rankings at that time and get the national recognition they need for a BCS bid.

How are your teams doing?

Football Recap

There are four football teams that I regularly follow. In descending order of importance, they are 1) San Francisco 49ers, 2) University of Hawaii Warriors, 3) My Fantasy Football Teams (yes, this is compelling evidence that I am nerdish), and 4) UCLA. Since graduating, my alma mater has sucked and has therefore not earned a spot on this list.

I’ll briefly break down each team’s game this past week.

49ers over Cardinals – This Monday Night Football game was derided as paper bag-over-the-head ugly, but I enjoyed the frequent displays of defensive prowess, especially when they forced Matt Leinart to run like a drunken, 3 legged dog. It was also nice to see the Niners show noticeable improvement (at least on one side of the field) in their first game of the season. Now if only their new offensive coordinator could grow some cajones.

UH Warriors over Louisiana Tech – Great fan that I am, I actually slept through the radio broadcast of this game. When I conked out, the Warriors were ahead 21 – 14. When the dust finally cleared, the Warriors had barely eked out a victory 45 - 44 in overtime. Whew. Colt and company still put up some crazy numbers, but victories will do as much for his Heisman campaign as anything so hopefully the Warrior’s pass protection and defensive intensity will step up in the coming weeks.

My Fantasy Teams – I now have four – 4! – fantasy football teams. If an NFL player scores a touchdown, chances are at least one of my teams is benefiting and another team is suffering. Three of my teams were active this week and I straight up won 2 of my match ups with the third game (against my dad) ending in a tie. He’s going to be insufferable until I beat him.

UCLA over BYU – Another game I napped through. UCLA’s defense was dominant in the first half and, feeling comforted by defense end Bruce Davis’ incredible performance, I figured it was safe for me to take a catnap. I was right, but only barely as UCLA struggled once again with inconsistent production. Coach Karl Dorrell was fortunate his defense bailed him out during this game.

Not a bad week in football. How did your teams do?

Match Point: Roddick versus Federer

You know you’re out of shape when a couple hours of bowling – bowling! – make your legs feel like they’ve spent the night supporting Kirstie Alley during a fettuccini binge. My soggy butt looks even worse when compared to athletes like Roger Federer and Andy Roddick but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy watching them compete, especially when they play so very well.

I was able to catch their U.S. Open quarterfinal match earlier in the evening. I don’t watch a lot of men’s tennis – their physical assets are much less impressive than women’s – but Andy Roddick is my favorite tennis player next to Marat Safin (so fiery!) and Roger Federer is… Roger Federer.

My flag was firmly planted in Roddick’s camp when their match started and I wasn’t disappointed.

Roddick was brilliant through the opening two sets. His powerful serve was in top form and even his second serves were effective. Even more impressive perhaps was the early success found through his net play, punctuated with a dizzying array of winners (If it sounds like I know what I’m talking about, it’s only because I used to have a thing for a tennis player).

Roddick played as well as I’ve ever seen him play (four times now), and he probably would have won if his opponent was anyone other than Federer.

Because Federer is the best. In case you hadn’t heard.

I’m not sure what it is about Federer that I don’t like. Tiger Woods shows the same razor-sharp, almost inhuman level of focus but he comes across as being more of a human being than Federer. I guess an $873 billion advertising presence will do that for a guy.

The fact that Tiger and Federer are buddies makes Federer a little more likeable, but something in the way he effortlessly runs down shots and playfully toys with his bangs makes me want to take a racket and shove it in Federer's face so that he’ll sign it but rather than keep it I’ll sell it on eBay because I don’t like him.

What do you guys think about Federer? Will Roddick, or anyone else for that matter, ever have a chance at beating a healthy Federer?

UH Warriors' Season Opener

The University of Hawaii’s opening game tonight against division 1-AA opponent University of Northern Colorado featured some of the most disgruntled fans I’ve ever seen at a 63-6 blowout victory.

If you’re at all familiar with the University of Hawaii Warriors, or “da UH Warriors” as they’re affectionately known to the island folk, then you already know blowout victories are nothing new to one of the most potent offenses in collegiate history or the Heisman hopeful taking snaps under center. Tonight, quarterback Colt Brennan began his campaign for the most coveted award in college football by firing off six touchdown passes and over four hundred yards through the air -- all in the first half.

And yet even with the clinic taking place on the field, my fellow Warrior fans found reasons to complain.

“Oh brah, coach is stupid. He gotta work on the running game. Next time we play good opponents and they watch for the pass, what we do then? We need da running game set up now!”

Ah, my poor, grammar-challenged friend. Obviously your understanding of UH football is as tenuous as your relationship with the English language. Traditional football principles tell us that the run sets up the pass, but the UH system is not traditional. There’s a reason coach June Jones didn’t call a running play until the fourth quarter and it’s the same reason why UH won’t rely on the running game against more formidable opponents. The UH dump pass, in addition to other quick pass routes, are the equivalent of a running game, and also make traditional running plays that much more unexpected and effective when they are finally called.

Idiot.

On a lighter note, I enjoyed a wonderful pee at halftime made only slightly less delightful for the fifty other men trying to mess with my aim. There’s something to be said about peeing into troughs. I don’t know what that is, but I’m sure something should be said about it.

Another footnote to tonight’s game was my seeing the Nancy Kerrigan of college football, University of Northern Colorado kicker Rafael Mendoza. Mitch Cozad, the Tonya Harding in this analogy, stabbed the starting punter (Mendoza) last season in a go-getting, albeit stupid, attempt at moving up the depth chart. Needless to say he was kicked off the team, suspended from school, and didn’t get to start after all. Perhaps he has a future in boxing.

All in all, it was a good start for the Warriors.

Welcome to The Athlete's Footnotes

Books are my first love and movies the second (my affection is promiscuous) but sports also hold a special place in my lecherous heart. My movie thoughts go into The Spoon, but The Athlete's Footnotes is the new home for my ramblings and rants on all the sports I love to watch and play.

I won't be updating here nearly as often as at The Spoon (remember, movies are the second concubine in my harem of interests), but there should still be plenty of fat here to chew on. This site is as much for my entertainment as yours but I always, always appreciate a good discussion so feel free to comment whenever you feel so inclined.

Welcome to The Athlete's Footnotes and don't mind the smell.