Roger Clemens and more!

I put up another non-serious post about Roger Clemens here. Check it out and please comment if you can.

In other news, the Lakers beat the Rockets last night to avenge their loss in their first meeting of the season. The Lakers came out on top, but the Rockets deserve a lot of credit for playing so hard after Tracy McGrady went out with a bum right arm. What the heck has Bonzi Wells been doing the last few years? I remember when he was an emerging force (if not exactly a star) with the Grizzlies then he went underground like Harriet Tubman, only to re-emerge last night. I know he's battled weight issues and he seems like he needs the ball to be interested in the game, but hot shiznizzle does he attack the rim well. I expect those kinds of moves from T-Mac and Kobe, but Bonzi's performance was very good.

Unfortunately, the same could not be said of the Laker's bench. Luke Walton is halfway between role player and starter, but he has to do better than 2 points, 3 assists, and 1 rebound. Lamar Odom also plays unselfish basketball but his numbers were nearly as poor. I know Kobe dominates the ball, but that's no excuse for some of the awful passing I was seeing from Fisher and Walton, among others. The Lakers were fortunate to come away with that victory and despite their early season run, they've barely crawled their way above .500 with this victory.

Now for an overdue update on my favorite teams:

If you hadn't noticed by now, the Niners suck. I had written a post for BleacherBloggers.com about how the Niners could make a mid season run after their bye week. Thankfully, I never got to post it and saved myself from sounding like a total ass.

The UH Warriors are one of (two?) a few undefeated teams in the top 25. However, their play has been erratic and early Heisman hopeful QB Colt Brennan has somehow underperformed while playing at a 4,000 yard, 40 touchdown pace. They could still pull off the best season in the program's history, but I haven't felt the same magic as last year.

UCLA is losing.

Stanford beat USC several weeks back. That victory will have to hold me over for the next couple years or so.

And that's it. Oh yes, it turns out losing internet access for several weeks (and Ronnie Brown on 3 teams) can mess with your fantasy football success. I'm still in the running in most seasons, but the magic is dissipating.

Take care.

The Niners struggle again

It's halfway through the 49er-Seahawks game as I write this. Quarterback Alex Smith is out, RB Gore has developed a severe case of fumblitis and I can't remember the last time guarded optimism has so quickly turned into salty tears of sadness. Nate Clements and the defense have looked dominant at times but I can't blame them for easing up when the offense has curled up in the fetal position.

Elsewhere around the league, old man Favre continues to get things done. I "discovered" Favre back in '95 when I played my first season of fantasy football. While on his way to an MVP season he carried my team, The Homicidal Monkeys, to a second place finish. No matter how decrepit Favre gets, he'll always have a place in my heart.

The Bears lost a close game when their onside kick was returned for a touchdown. Sucks to be the Bears.

Oakland erupted with a 35-17 victory over Miami. Culpepper threw for two touchdowns and ran for three more. All five guys who started him must be quite pleased with themselves. Miami may also suck (0-4 season record), but at least Ronnie Brown did well for the second straight week. Way to turn one team's misery into my personal gain, fantasy football.

And a quick mention of the UH Warriors, winners despite Brennan's 5 -- Five! -- interceptions. By virtue of not losing they're moving up the rankings (or down, or whatever) but they have yet to face a true quality opponent.

Speaking of quality, or more accurately a lack thereof, is the UH commentator Jim Leahy. Jim is without a doubt the worst commentator I have ever heard. It's worth listening to him just to hear how awful he is. Here are some of his gems from last night's game (slightly paraphrased because they make no sense).

"That play quintessentially was Colt Brennan."

"The runningback showed a burst of speed until the defense diagnosed him.

"The running back cut to the left and probed the secondary."

And these comments are from the first quarter alone, before my good taste prevented me from watching any more (it was a tape delayed replay). Leahy manages to combine the hyperbole and mannerisms of James Lipton (from Inside the actor's studio) with the grammatical sense of an illiterate monkey. The only way I think he's managed to stay on the air for so many years is by overwhelming Hawaii viewers with big words that he butchers without mercy.

How bad is Leahy at commentary? As bad as San Fran is playing football this afternoon. Yeah. Ouch.

Please share your football gripes with me. It'll make me smile to know that my misery has company.