NBA Observations go up on Bleacher Bloggers

I wrote a condensed version of last night's NBA observations into a single post. It's now up on Bleacher Bloggers where you can read it and write comments brimming with adulation. But please don't mention I'm sending you because I look less cool when people know I beg for attention.

NBA Opening Night!

Somehow I didn't find out about tonight's NBA season opener until this evening. Read my scribbled random notes as I watch the games.

First up, the Portland Trailblazers versus the San Antonia Spurs.

[This game was boring so I'll sum it up in one paragraph. I blame the Spurs.]

The Trailblazers played the defending champion Spurs closer than the 106-97 score would indicate. But the Spurs played the exact brand of defensive, plodding, unselfish basketball that has won them two championships and bored countless fans. Portland's LaMarcus Aldridge looked outstanding and I have to wonder what his team could have accomplished this year if they had super-ugly man-boy Greg Oden.

Next up, the Houston Rockets travel to Los Angeles to play the Lakers. It's go time.

Four sloppy minutes later, Kobe lays in the first points of the game.

Luke Walton lays down a pretty assist. Luke will be one of the keys to the Laker's success this season. He's a natural playmaker that can score if needed. TNT commentator Doug Collins said the Lakers want Walton to be a double digit scorer. I think they'd be happier if he were a triple digit scorer.

Luis Scola just entered the game for Houston. His hair is ugly on a scale not seen since Nash sheared his limp mane.

Ronny Turiaf disrupts a Rockets pass, leading to a Kobe - Turiaf fast break connection. Great energy by the Lakers and they've jumped out to a 17-8 lead. The game is still sloppy, but at least the Lakers are on top.

Commercial: FrankTV is doomed to failure.

I've watched the Lakers run Tex Winter's offense for over seven years and I've read several of Phil Jackson's books and I still don't understand the Triangle Offense. I don't think Kwame Brown does either.

Kobe has 13 points, 2 assists, and 0 turnovers at the end of the first quarter. I'm getting the strong feeling that he wants to send a message. That message? "I'm good, please trade for me."

We're a few minutes into the second quarter and it's already 11:30pm. Watching sports on the East Coast seriously messes with my beauty sleep.

Dikembe Mutumbo is still playing? I thought his daughter made him retire.

The Rockets have tied the game at 29. Kobe is not in the game, and every Lakers possession since he sat down has ended in a forced shot and a fast break for the Rockets.

Stevie Francis is sitting on the bench and, according to the TNT commentators, apparently showed up for preseason duty out of shape and was outplayed by Mike James. I still have a soft spot for the Franchise since he was the very first player I ever drafted in my first fantasy basketball league. Obviously this was about six years ago. Now it looks like he's actually napping on a teammate's shoulder.

Kobe looks tired. I think skipping practice and not showing up for preseason games has left him a little unprepared for the pace of a regular season game.

Kwame Brown flubbed another dunk. I've heard that he has hands smaller than a carny's and despite never seeing a carny in real life, I believe the claim. His athleticism has always been superb, and his defense seems to be improved, but Kwame will never be the offensive machine MJ thought he'd be.

Kobe drove to the basket and turned the ball over again. He is definitely tired but trying to jump start the offense. This kind of one-man-showmanship will not help the Lakers win.

Commercial: The House of Payne is still on television? How?

Derek Fisher has brought the rainbow shot back to Lakerland. He's made five straight points, including L.A.'s first three pointer of the season.

Tracy McGrady hits his free throws despite two lazy eyes.

The half is over, both teams tied at 43. Sloppy first half but Kobe flashed a couple of baseline moves to show he's still got spunk left. He sure looked pretty sweaty for his halftime interview though.

Commercial: Stephen King's The Mist looks more silly than scary. Of course, I'd still scream like a girl if I were to ever actually watch it.

[Half time. Bathroom break. Good pee.]

Three minutes into the second half and neither offense is clicking, but now the Rockets are up 51-47.

Yao Ming went flying after a loose ball and came within three inches of frenching Kurt Rambis on the Lakers bench. Kurt looked willing but Yao changed his mind before man on man contact could be initiated.

Kobe has 21 points but he's taking way too many jump shots. The Rockets meanwhile are starting to roll and are now up 58-49. Yao Ming looks mildly autistic but the dude can still play ball. T-Mac isn't bad either.

Oh God. Somehow the Lakers scored against themselves. A high rebound slipped through Walton's hands and bounced high into the air, off the backboard and into the rim, nothing but net. How embarrassing.

The Lakers came out with a lot of energy but the Rockets clearly have the momentum as well as a 10 point lead.

Commercial: Movie preview for This Christmas. It looks an awful lot like Why did I get Married?

It's halfway through the third quarter and it's already 12:40pm. Time zones suck.

Kobe is missing a lot of free throws. He looks tired and the Lakers are playing just well enough to stay within range as the third quarter ends, the Rockets up 70-62. Walton has had a few good shots, Farmar showed some speed on a fast break dunk (I didn't know he could do that), but nobody else is picking up the offensive slack.

Hehe. Shane Battier just airballed a three pointer. Watching Duke alumni fail makes me warm inside.

Another jump shot by Kobe, another miss off the front of the rim. The man is tired and so am I.

Lakers center Chris Mihm just lost a shoe. I saw Chris Mihm's shoe before I realized Chris Mihm was in the game; what does that say about Mihm's effectiveness?

It's now 1am. The Lakers better win or I'm going to be pissed.

Kobe has now resorted to physically throwing himself at defenders in order to draw fouls. He isn't getting the calls and L.A. is down 77-65. It's slipping away for the purple and gold.

Surprise, surprise, Kobe has drawn another foul, only to go 1 of 2 at the charity stripe and 11-17 on the night. An awfully poor performance for a free throw shooter with a career average above 83%, and just one more indication that Kobe is not in game shape.

Now they're rubbing down Kobe's wrist and saying his sore wrist has been aggravated tonight. That kind of injury would definitely affect his shot.

Free throws and a timely jumper by Pescado have the Lakers within 6 points with 5 and a half minutes left. I'm now officially too tired to be funny.


The Rockets are now in the penalty and the Lakers are working the charity stripe. Bonzi Wells complains but his beauty mark cannot persuade the refs to his way of thinking.

Yao Ming just hit two clutch shots to put L.A. in a deep hole with less than two minutes left.

Commercial: I love the Reggie Bush commercial where he and his friend are walking down the street and the friend is begging Bush for some tickets to his football games. Reggie tells him to watch him on cable instead. What a diss. I love that one.

Three straight turnovers by the Rockets and the Lakers have closed to within four points with a little under a minute left. Unfortunately, Farmar just fouled Mike James to send him to the line. He misses both.

Kobe takes it to the hole and suddenly it's a two point game with 25 seconds left to play. What the hell just happened? The Rockets were smiling and slapping each other on the butt and now it's a tight, tight game. I like what I'm seeing.

Lakers steal the inbounds pass and Fisher sinks a two to tie the game. Damn!

Noooooo. Battier just sank a three with 2.5 seconds left. Damn!

Now Battier just fouled Kobe before he could attempt a three. Kobe gets two foul shouts but he'll have to make the first and intentionally miss the second so his teammates can score a deuce.

Kobe makes the first.

And now...

He misses the second shot, it bounces back and forth and back into his hands. Kobe goes up and bam! he gets nailed from behind. No call from the refs and the game's over.

The Lakers lost and now you've experienced it in more detail than you'd wish on your worst enemy. Good night.

The Most Improbable Play Ever

This isn't the most dramatic victory in collegiate sports, but it might be the most improbable single play, ever. I've seen it three times and I still don't believe it. Watch the video and decide for yourself.

My Post went Big Time

If you liked my Kobe Post, I put it up at BleacherBloggers.com. Go check out the link and leave a glowing comment so my supervisor will think I'm super cool.

Why are you doing this Kobe?

Kobe, you're the greatest basketball player of my generation and you're killing me.

I remember when you first announced your entry into the draft and I kept asking my dad, "Is he really that good?" You were skinny and bald but you showed flashes of greatness even in your rookie season. You didn't deserve to go to the All-Star game that year, but after attacking MJ with some pretty moves, you showed why you deserved to come back.

There were struggles, sure, but then Shaq and Phil arrived and a bright new day dawned for the Lakers. Watching you guys destroy team after team en route to three championships made me very happy and I'll always be grateful for those years. Even though you and Shaq could never get along, you both have special places in my heart. Those places aren't adjacent because no matter what you two say, I'm afraid what would happen if you were both locked in a chamber together, but you're both somewhere in there.

Then Shaq left and you stayed. You were always my favorite, so as long as you stayed with the team I was okay. And even though the Lakers struggled, it's still been a treat to watch you split double teams and dismantle entire defenses. I also think you're passing ability is severely underrated.

But now this.

Now you've asked to be traded and this time it looks like it might actually happen. Jerry Buss even said that he has to treat your demands as a business move, but we all know that's impossible. Jerry Buss loves you like a son. When you made mistakes the Lakers never hesitated to support you. Jerry Buss may look like Jerry Stiller but he's always been dead serious about protecting your back. And now you want to turn your back on him.

Is this another demand for respect? I can understand if it is. Your emotional development was permanently crippled as a youngster, always developing your prodigious abilities on the court to the detriment of your social skills off it. Your need to prove yourself has always pushed you to succeed and exceed expectations. If you weren't an emotional cripple I doubt you'd be the same dominant player. Leaving the team that's given you so much (and I'm not just talking about money) would certainly give you another challenge to meet.

But before you pack your bags, consider this, Kobe.

You have a wife and two children. You have three NBA championships. You're widely regarded as the best basketball player in the world today. You don't need to quit the Lakers to prove how good you can be. I already know.

Marion Jones comes clean, raises doubts

It’s a sad state of affairs when sports news has less to do with an athlete’s performance and more about which performance enhancing drug they took. Marion Jones pleaded guilty yesterday of lying to federal agents about taking THG and possibly even the “clear” prior to her celebrated achievements at the 2000 Olympics.

An article by ESPN’s Lester Munson says that IRS Agent Jeff Novitsky had compiled enough evidence that Marion Jones could no longer deny her guilt after vehemently defending her innocence for the better part of a decade. But if anything, the timing of Marion’s admission couldn’t be more calculated.

Just two weeks ago Floyd Landis was banned for two years from professional racing after testing repeatedly showed evidence of doping during his 2006 Tour de France victory. About one week ago boxer Sugar Shane Mosley also admitted to taking the “cream” and the “clear.” Landis continues to maintain his innocence while Mosley claims he was misled by his trainers into believing the steroids were allowable supplements.

Maybe I’m being a cynic, but allegations of innocence or unknowing usage seem like so much wasted breath.

I can’t help but see Marion’s confession as a calculated move designed to minimize fallout. Obviously she is the biggest name amongst recent offenders (football players like Travis Henry turning up positive for illegal substances are so common they’re barely worth mentioning anymore), and it’s clear that Marion is attempting to hide her disgrace amongst the tarnished careers of Mosley, Landis and other liars and cheaters.

The race is on for athletes to repent now while the repenting is good. If nobody else was in the news for cheating I genuinely believe that Jones would continue fighting incriminating evidence. But now that so many disgraced athletes have thrown themselves on the public’s mercy and begged for forgiveness I expect they will soon be getting even more company. Just don’t expect Barry Bonds to be one of them.

Sporting Bads

Across the sporting spectrum athletes and officials are forever making fools of themselves. Here are a few that have caught my eye recently.

Isiah Thomas – Ever since his playing career ended, Isiah has gone from failure (CBA) to embarrassment (sexual harassment case). If you want to see the man’s true face I suggest taking a good long look at Isiah’s famous smile. The sinister conceit and borderline homicidal rage oozing from that grin reminds me of another athlete with a reputed killer instinct.

O.J. Simpson – I grew up watching O.J. in court and at the time I was young enough to want him to be innocent. Now I want him to shut up and learn his lesson.

Sugar Shane Mosley – Mosley confessed to unknowingly taking the “clear” and possibly other banned substances before his controversial victory by decision over Oscar de la Hoya in 2003. I believe Mosley when he says that by coming clean he hopes to warn other athletes of the danger of carelessness, but his announcement feels like just another underwear smear on the good name of sports everywhere.

Kobe Bryant – He’s my favorite player on my favorite team but Kobe was an idiot to demand a trade earlier this postseason. Not only did he strain his relationship with his team and his fans but he handcuffed the Laker’s ability to bring him help. Kobe’s subsequent decision to shut up and rededicate himself to winning reveals why he is such a special athlete but gosh darn do I wish he realized this before opening his mouth.

Bill Belichick – The NFL coach most likely to be mistaken for a homeless bum (derelict indeed), Belichick’s awesome ego was on full display when he refused to discuss his illegal videotaping of opponents. NFL commish Roger Goodell’s fined the Pat’s coach for half a million dollars, but his suspicious handling of the evidence (he destroyed the tapes without revealing what was on them) looks bad, bad, bad. On second thought, both Belichick and Goodell deserve some scolding on this one.